I really should

weigh in.
Yes, I should.











Lately, instead of tossing my cookies, I've been keeping them...and eating them.
I can't figure out why my train derailed, and why I don't want to get back on the train, but I need to.
I feel like the train has already left, and I need to run and catch up, but I hate running.
*sigh*
stay tuned.

The blog is aliiiive, with the sound of weight loss.

So I gave up for a month.
My motto has always been, "If I can't do it well, I won't do it at all".
I know, I know.
But I sucked it up, and went back this morning.
I've lost 10.5 lbs in that month.
I didn't totally give up.
I just gave up the going in and stepping on the scale for strangers part.

Oh sister, you know me so well.

I got my period today.
It was really heavy.
So heavy in fact, in the past two weeks leading up to it, I've gained 3.4 pounds.
That is all.












Show's over people.

.5

Losing weight is hard.

Maybe I should try losing hair or losing library books or something.
Those would be a lot easier.


P.S. Jen? I can't leave comments on your blog :(
See my other blog for an explanation.

No excuses.

So last week I lost .4 lbs and thought, "I stink at losing weight".
I didn't post it, because it was disappointing.
This week I gained 1.2 lbs and thought, "I really stink at losing weight".
I posted it.
I don't know why.

So today...

We did our two mile walk, and 13 minutes of the Bollywood workout.
Oh yes, that's right, we did 4 minutes more than we did the last time.
But I didn't stop there.
Oh no.
I did an additional four hours of weeding.
My hip hurts like an 80 year old.
I'm not even 40 yet.
I'm hoping to make it to 30 pounds by Saturday.
I hate it when people say, "Wish me luck!", because it's kind of bossy.
What if they don't want to wish you luck?
What if they're too busy?
So, how about if I say...
I wish me luck!
Because I need it.

S'mores, Hot Dogs, and Cheetos, OH MY!

As you may know, I recently spent four lovely days in Texas hill country with my friend.
Eating, tubing down the river, eating, talking, tubing, talking, eating, etc.
(In my defense, I did make some good food choices.)










So this morning, as I walked up to the Weight Watchers door this morning, I thought to myself,
"I should have a panic attack and run to my car!"
But I wasn't sure how to have a panic attack, so I opened the door and went in.
She weighed me and said,
"o.k."
I wondered what I should say.
Should I confess right there?
Should I justify my weight gain?
"You lost 1.6 pounds, good job."
"WHA?"
"You've done really good so far."
"WHA?"
I lost.
Oh yes, I did.
Methinks I should go to Texas every week.
Sounds like a good weight loss plan to me.

There's so few of you,

I should just text you with the number every week.
Then I wouldn't have to blog about such an insignificant weight loss number.
.4
I'm pretty sure I gained the week before last, after my beach adventure.
Because I exercised to the point of running this week.
Seriously.
At least I didn't gain, right?
Right?

Sooo...

We went to do the 2 mile walk this morning (on demand)
Wait, what?
How much did I lose?
Er...um...
I haven't weighed in yet.
Anyhooo...
I tried to get my two mile walk on, and it wasn't there!
Helloooo, Comcast?
Why are you messing with my walk?
I even have a guest in my home every morning doing it with me, and on the second day she comes over, annnnd...
nothing.
Just a "family walk".
I would just like to say that "family walking" is faster than a plain two mile walk.
Not only that, but it cuts off the last 10 minutes.
What did we do after our mile and a half?
We did this...



Yes, about 9 minutes of that, to be exact.
I have no idea how they "screw in light-bulbs" for 10 minutes at a time, while simultaneously gliding across the floor.
I bet you wish you could have seen that.
Yeah, no one is allowed to ever see that.
Don't even try peeking in the windows either.
They're draped in saris.

I'm chicken.

I'm thinking of skipping my weigh in this week.
First of all, I'm supposed to get my period next week.
Secondly, I was bad.
I might of went here...



















and rendezvoused with this...












and a little of this...










And, um...












and I'm not sure, but I think this was involved...













I don't know, I may have been in a dessert haze.
In fact, I know I was.
I better stay home tomorrow and recover from this.

"You have no idea what you can do until you try."
-Jillian Michaels

Ta Dah!

I weighed in today (one day early).
I lost 2.4 lbs today.
Yes, that means I not only made it to 25 lbs, I went beyond that and have lost a total of 26.2 lbs.
I think I'll celebrate with a nice, big cake.
Just kidding.

I hope I didn't make you jealous.

I mean, if you really want to walk with her, you can.
I'm not hogging her.
I feel like I need to make it up to you.
I know, I'll tell you a funny Weight Watchers moment.
Because I know that's what you come here for.
Actually, I don't really know that, I just assume...
Unless you're a chubby chaser...
In that case, you better get the heck on out of here because you are creeepy.
*shudder*
I made you feel bad again, didn't I?
*sigh*
So at my first meeting, they hand me this pamphlet.
They hand you one at every meeting.
They have themes.
Like one week was having a "baditude", and how to fight it.
They suggested that we back our baditude up against a wall,
and punch it 'til it died.
Then you'd be happy.






No.
Not really.
Anyhoo, my point is that they have themes every week.
So my first week, I was reading through, and happened upon a column where people were asked what they do to perk themselves up.
I will never, never forget what one lady said.
O.k., I forget her actual words, but she basically said this:
"When I feel depressed, I get on my swimsuit, turn up the heat, and dance (or exercise, or something) in front of the t.v."










I almost snorted.
Why?
Because if I got in my swimsuit, pranced around the house, and got a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I'd drop to the floor, curl up in the fetal position and cry until the firemen came to pry my arms from my legs.
Who does this?
I want to know.
Are any of you prancing around the house in your swimsuit?
I want to watch.
Now I'm being creepy.
I got myself back for hurting your feelings.
Who's happy now?
I was just kidding.
I mean, I want to watch, but in a fascinated kind of way.

Er...I should stop now.
This isn't leading anywhere I want to go.
You should leave a comment and change the subject.

I have a new walking partner.

It's really nice.
I don't have to talk to her.
(I'm not good at talking and walking.)
She's encouraging, and happy all the time.
If I don't want to walk, we don't.
If I want to walk 1 mile, we do.
If I feel like two, she'll go with me.
The only annoying thing is the side steps, and kicks.
Well, that and the arms.
All in all, I would have to say she's the perfect person to walk with.
Plus, she doesn't charge me.
"Carrot, who charges you to walk with them? I mean, really."
Well, she would.
If I didn't have On Demand on cable.
Yes, that's right, I walk with Leslie Sansone .











You should try it.
Even if you don't have cable.
She sells herself at Target.
Hey, don't judge her people.
Everybody needs a little money now and then.

I guess I should divide this week.

I didn't go weigh in last week because we were at the Ocean.



Is that a good excuse?
So I weighed in this morning, and lost
2.4 lbs
So if I divide that, I can say I lost 1.2 lbs last week, and
1.2 lbs this week.
I'll take that.

Don't be fooled.

A tiny container of this is 7 Weight Watchers points.
SEVEN.
That's almost a whole meal's points for me.
I added up the points while I was warming it up.
Needless to say, I left it for someone else to eat.

Here's what I'd like to know.

How honest do you have to get to lose the weight?
Is it necessary?
To look at the past, and why I got this way.
Do I need to do that in order to change?
How much past stuff that you've shoved down, do you need to bring up again?
None?
A little?
All of it?
What do you do with it when it's out?
What if it embarrasses someone?
Do I need to hire Jillian to come and yell at me and make me cry for me to talk about it?
Should I bring a couch in here?
Today I got a flood of memories, and emotions, all associated with my weight.
Do I need to open up?
Or can I keep my closed sign up and still be successful?
Am I repeating questions?
Are you checking?
Am I being annoying?
Is anybody reading this?

I think gum has become my cigarettes.

We've gone public

Only because logging in to read a blog is annoying. I'm sorry.

*sigh*

.4

Break On Through To The Other Side

*cut to me getting on the scale*

*cut to the gal getting distracted and helping her co-worker*

*cut back to me sweating bullets*

*cut back to her*

Her: Congratulations! You lost 4.2 lbs!

Me: What?

*cut to me getting teary*

Her: You've lost a total of 21 lbs.

*cut to me thinking about thinking how I would never make it to twenty pounds*

Me: I feel like crying. Last week I gained. It took me long enough to get to twenty pounds.

Her: Actually, Weight Watchers says you should lose 1/2 lb to 2 lbs a week, so you've done really well.

*cut to me being really proud of myself*

I've got good news and bad news.

The good news is...
I've discovered where all the young people are.
"Oh. I thought you were going to say you lost 5 lbs."
Uh, no.
That brings me to the bad news.
I gained 1.8 lbs.
"You gained??"
Yes, I gained.
To be honest, I didn't track anything, celebrated St. Patricks Day, and went to a girls night out where I set my rice cakes aside and ate little smokies, and meatballs.
My bad.
Now, don't say, "At least..." "At least you didn't gain THREE pounds!"
I gained.
I accept it.
It was my fault.
Now I'm moving on.
I'll get to 20 lbs if it kills me.
At least I'll be 20 lbs lighter for the funeral home.

Mock Reuben

I love sauerkraut.
LOVE LOVE LOVE it.
So today, I took some almost fat free thin sliced ham (warmed), Sara Lee 45 calorie bread (toasted), some sweet hot mustard, and some fat free cheese, topped it with sauerkraut, and ate it.
Tasty.
The bread is sweet, so it was reminiscent of high fat Russian dressing.
I just might eat that again.
If I don't eat the can of sauerkraut first.

Whoops!

I accidentally posted this on my other blog,

I think instead of saying, "I lost .2 lbs again!",
I'll say, "I've lost 18.6 lbs since January!"
Because it sounds better.

Oops, sorry...

It was 1.8 on Friday.
If you combine that with last weeks, that's two pounds in two weeks.
Yay me.

Uh, post script...

When I said,
"I'm not wearing a swimsuit..."
I meant, I'm wearing clothes.
I would never go in front of you nekkid.
You wouldn't want that.
Not that I would want that, but you most certainly would not want that.
And me too.

I don't know why it is...

But every night before the weigh in, I am afraid I haven't lost any weight.
Last week, it happened.
Tonight?
I don't think I lost any weight.
I didn't cheat, but I didn't exercise everyday either.
It's hard to cheat on Weight Watchers.
You can basically eat anything you want.
Normally, I can feel a little bit of difference, but not this week.
I don't know if it's because I got my period, or what.
"Uh, T.M.I Carrot!"
Yeah, sorry.
But it is private now.
Feels like we're in one big jacuzzi together.
Except, I'm not wearing a swimsuit.
Maybe we're just sitting poolside together.
Nah, I'd rather be in a hotel.
You're on the floor, and I'm in the bed.
And we're talking.
Unless there's two beds.
In that case, you guys are in the other bed.
Because I'm nice like that.
Anyhoo...
I guess I'll turn out the light now, and I'll see you tomorrow.
After I weigh in.
Don't forget to share your covers.

Too little to see.

Point two.

Yes, that's what I said.

Point two.

Might as well just round it down to zero.
I could make excuses like...
My period should be here today, or my exercise thingy broke,
but I won't.
We'll just accept it and move on.
I didn't even go out to eat this week, sheesh.



I'd better lose at least 5lbs next week.



P.S. I'm probably going private. Send me an e-mail and I'll let you in.
carrotjello 89 at yahoo dot com.

I love Weight Watchers.

My Cheatin' Heart

I cheated this week, and will pay for it tonight, I am sure.
I ate three frosted heart sugar cookies.
I probably could have had one and been fine, but I didn't.
Not only that, I ate sushi.
A little too much sushi.
I should start carrying food in my purse, so the next time I go to Uwajimaya,
I will not feel the urge to buy and eat more than my share.
I must remember that I am one person, and should eat accordingly.
Shame on me.
Shame!
I shouldn't shame myself here, I should just wait until I weigh in.
I'll step on the scale and say, "I don't know what happened!"
I love it when somebody says that.
Happens almost every week.
Actually, I hope it's not my turn tonight.

I'd like to thank my friend Debbie...

Little Debbie that is, for these...










Yes, Little Debbie Snow puffs are two points of deliciousness!
Imagine a brownie, covered with marshmallow, and topped with tiny bits of coconut.
I don't care if you don't like coconut, (you can't really taste it)you must hunt these down and try them!
Go now!
(I found them at Big Lots.)

I don't like it when people eat at Weight Watchers meetings.
I mean, come on! It's a half an hour meeting, and you can't make it through without spooning stuff into your mouth from your bowl of...of...whatever it was?
And you, with the raisins, why?
Raisins aren't bad, but why?
So we can see how healthy you are?
To me it's like sinning in the chapel.
You shouldn't do it.
I don't know why this bugs me so much, but it does.
If you have to, pop something in your mouth before you walk in, or shove something in on the way out the door, but not in the meeting.
Come on.

Five point two.

And I ate Thai food and had a candy bar.
I'm just sayin'.
12.8/3 weeks.

Finally!

(shhhh...don't tell my other blog I'm writing on here.)
No, I didn't lose five more pounds.
I found out why my ipod headphones weren't staying in.
After a lot of this...
#$@!!
(No, not swearing, typing symbols!)
I figured out, they have letters on them.
"L" and "R"
DUH!
So I'm happy report, they stay in.
Speaking of my Ipod, I thought I'd let you know some of what's on there.
I've got a lot of categories, but this is kind of an exercise one.
"Goodbye" Kristina DeBarge
"Party In The USA" Miley Cyrus (I know, I know)
"Read My Mind" The Killers
"SAy Hey" Michael Franti and spearhead
"Everytime We Touch" Cascadia
"Kung Fu Fighting" Cee Lo and Jack Black
"So What" Pink
"My Life Would Suck Without You" Kelly Clarkson
"If I were a Boy" Beyonce
"A Girl Like You" Edwyn Collins
"Little Secrets" Passion Pit
"Sleepyhead" Passion Pit
"Big Girl" Mika
"Don't Stop Me Now" Queen
"Fighter" Christina Aguilera
"Haven't Met You Yet" Michael Buble
"I'm Still Standing" Elton John
"I Got A Feeling" Black Eyed Peas - Megamix
"If you're goin' thru hell" Rodney Atkins
"Not Ready To Make Nice" Dixie Chicks
"Stand" Rascal Flatts
"Telephone" Lady Gaga feat. Beyonce (LOVE THIS)
"Trish Trash Polka" Andre Rieu (yes, seriously)
"We Are The Champions" Queen
"Whatcha Say" Jason DeRulo
"Sandstorm" Darude
"Lollipop" Mika
"Replay" Iyaz
That's not all, but now you know what I'm listening to.
I'm sure that's what you wanted, right?

I've been watching too much biggest loser.

*cut to me stepping on the scale, and the Weight Watchers lady mouthing "Wow"*
"Did I gain??"
"No! You lost 2.5 pounds!"
"2.5 pounds? That's disappointing..."
I was hoping for another five, but I'm already slowing down.
She seemed to be impressed, but I would have been more impressed had I lost 5lbs or more.
I've got to stop watching that show.
Either that, or start exercising 8 hours a day like they do so I can lose 13 pounds a week.
Hmmm, maybe I'll just stop watching it.

Ancient Chinese secret huh?

I know why Sarah Lee's "45 calories & delightful" bread is only 45 calories.


















I'm just sayin'.
When I bite into it, it's like a breath of fresh air!
Oh wait.
It is air.

I made something new.

I made it up as I was hurrying to go out the door.
I took a can of black beans, a can of pinto beans, a can of tomatoes with green chilis and some diced ham, and threw it all in the crock pot.
I added cumin, garlic powder, chili pepper, and onion salt and stirred.
I left it on medium for a couple hours and served it over brown rice.
Hello delicious.

Why do I hate writing everything down?
I've never liked homework, maybe this is homework to me.
I don't know if it's easier to do it after every meal, or at the end of the day.
Probably after everything you eat so you don't forget something.
My kids are on the bandwagon.
I didn't ask them to climb on, but they climbed on anyway.
Now they expect me to be the human weight watchers point calculator.
"How many points is this?"
"How much do you think this is worth?"
I better hurry up and learn everything, because right now?
I'm like a human W.W. calculator with dying batteries.
Maybe I should go buy a real one for everyone so I don't have to calculate all the time.
Or maybe they should rent out W.W. consultants that follow you around.
They could write down everything you eat, calculate the points for you, and fill up your water bottle when it's empty.










Yeah, I think I'll write them a letter.
Maybe since it was my idea, they'll give me a free one.

P.s. Sorry I haven't responded to your comments. I appreciate them. Every time I would respond, it would delete my comments. Anyhoo, problem solved. Maybe the five pounds of fat came off my brain so I can think better now.

Guess How Many Pounds I lost in a week.

I'll give you a hint,



Yay!

You want to know, right?

(As of right now, no one reads this thing, so I'm just talking to my other personality)
Everyone keeps asking me how my meeting went this week.
It's tomorrow.
I don't own a scale, so I have no idea how I've done.
The only thing I've had a hard time with is writing every.single.thing down.
It's rather annoying.
Not that I'm cheating, because I'm not, it just seems like one more task to do.
I haven't been tempted to cheat yet, although it's only the first week.
It's nice to have accountability.
I figure Weight Watchers is like A.A. for fat people, and I will be going the rest of my life.
I'll probably outlive my class which won't take long.
"Hey, that wasn't nice."
They are old.
O.k., so am I.
But not that old.
"At least they have friends in the class..."
You've got a point.
I am working on recruiting though.
Wonder if I can get a star on my bookmark for that.
That's right, I get a bookmark, and stars as incentives.
Jealous much?
I thought so.

Test

This has been a test of the Emergency Weight Loss System.
Emergency Weight Loss does not work,
so we'll be trying Weight Watchers instead.