Saturday, March 27, 2010

Break On Through To The Other Side

*cut to me getting on the scale*

*cut to the gal getting distracted and helping her co-worker*

*cut back to me sweating bullets*

*cut back to her*

Her: Congratulations! You lost 4.2 lbs!

Me: What?

*cut to me getting teary*

Her: You've lost a total of 21 lbs.

*cut to me thinking about thinking how I would never make it to twenty pounds*

Me: I feel like crying. Last week I gained. It took me long enough to get to twenty pounds.

Her: Actually, Weight Watchers says you should lose 1/2 lb to 2 lbs a week, so you've done really well.

*cut to me being really proud of myself*

Saturday, March 20, 2010

I've got good news and bad news.

The good news is...
I've discovered where all the young people are.
"Oh. I thought you were going to say you lost 5 lbs."
Uh, no.
That brings me to the bad news.
I gained 1.8 lbs.
"You gained??"
Yes, I gained.
To be honest, I didn't track anything, celebrated St. Patricks Day, and went to a girls night out where I set my rice cakes aside and ate little smokies, and meatballs.
My bad.
Now, don't say, "At least..." "At least you didn't gain THREE pounds!"
I gained.
I accept it.
It was my fault.
Now I'm moving on.
I'll get to 20 lbs if it kills me.
At least I'll be 20 lbs lighter for the funeral home.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Mock Reuben

I love sauerkraut.
So today, I took some almost fat free thin sliced ham (warmed), Sara Lee 45 calorie bread (toasted), some sweet hot mustard, and some fat free cheese, topped it with sauerkraut, and ate it.
The bread is sweet, so it was reminiscent of high fat Russian dressing.
I just might eat that again.
If I don't eat the can of sauerkraut first.

Friday, March 12, 2010


I accidentally posted this on my other blog,

I think instead of saying, "I lost .2 lbs again!",
I'll say, "I've lost 18.6 lbs since January!"
Because it sounds better.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Oops, sorry...

It was 1.8 on Friday.
If you combine that with last weeks, that's two pounds in two weeks.
Yay me.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Uh, post script...

When I said,
"I'm not wearing a swimsuit..."
I meant, I'm wearing clothes.
I would never go in front of you nekkid.
You wouldn't want that.
Not that I would want that, but you most certainly would not want that.
And me too.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

I don't know why it is...

But every night before the weigh in, I am afraid I haven't lost any weight.
Last week, it happened.
I don't think I lost any weight.
I didn't cheat, but I didn't exercise everyday either.
It's hard to cheat on Weight Watchers.
You can basically eat anything you want.
Normally, I can feel a little bit of difference, but not this week.
I don't know if it's because I got my period, or what.
"Uh, T.M.I Carrot!"
Yeah, sorry.
But it is private now.
Feels like we're in one big jacuzzi together.
Except, I'm not wearing a swimsuit.
Maybe we're just sitting poolside together.
Nah, I'd rather be in a hotel.
You're on the floor, and I'm in the bed.
And we're talking.
Unless there's two beds.
In that case, you guys are in the other bed.
Because I'm nice like that.
I guess I'll turn out the light now, and I'll see you tomorrow.
After I weigh in.
Don't forget to share your covers.