Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Here's what I'd like to know.








How honest do you have to get to lose the weight?
Is it necessary?
To look at the past, and why I got this way.
Do I need to do that in order to change?
How much past stuff that you've shoved down, do you need to bring up again?
None?
A little?
All of it?
What do you do with it when it's out?
What if it embarrasses someone?
Do I need to hire Jillian to come and yell at me and make me cry for me to talk about it?
Should I bring a couch in here?
Today I got a flood of memories, and emotions, all associated with my weight.
Do I need to open up?
Or can I keep my closed sign up and still be successful?
Am I repeating questions?
Are you checking?
Am I being annoying?
Is anybody reading this?

12 comments:

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter said...

Remember: it's not about the "what," it's about the "why." Why are you in this position, why do you want to change it, why do you not want to go back to it again at a later date. When you know the answers to those questions, you can accomplish anything.

Way to go on the losses so far! GREAT progress!!!

Yvonne said...

I think Lt. Col. Samantha Carter answered PERFECTLY.

You're doing great.

Aubrey said...

I'm reading!

It's good you got a flood of emotions. Not fun, maybe. But good. I tend to think that it's healthy to feel them and deal with them and then move on. When you don't do that and ignore them and bottle them up you do other unhealthy things like eat too much (or whatever your vice is.)

How you deal with them is up to you. If you want to bare your soul and air laundry, then go for it. But you also don't have to tell everyone to deal with. Sometimes writing it down in a secret journal helps. Or just acknowledging it and then letting it go is good too. Whatever works for you is good.
And I agree--knowing why you are doing this is important. You gotta really want it no matter the effort, cuz it's a journey.

As Told By Molly said...

Great answer Lt. Col. Carter.

Yeah, I think it's important to understand how we got to where we are so that we can either stop the toxic behavior and make changes toward improvements or so we can recognize the good choices and continue on the same healthy path.

MelanieJ said...

First, thank you for your honesty and candor.

This, unfortunately, is what I need answered as well. Every time I want to "lose weight," I feel like I am called to dig up Mt. Everest with a spork. Not so effective. Not so much success. The skeletons in the pantry probably have the answer more than any fad diet. I just don't know if i can face them...

Heffalump said...

I think that every person is different. I used to be the kind of person that had to share all my pain and anguish to feel better, and now I am pretty much the opposite of that.
I think the other responses have been great.

Cinderill said...

I am reading!

I am sorry that this is a hard part of the journey. Others have offered great advice. I too think you have to deal with it somehow. If it directly involves another person, then a conversation might have to happen. Think of it as an unburdening of these feelings. Leave them (however that can happen) and walk away a lighter person.

You are doing so well, you are an ispiration :)

Heidi said...

Well, my dear. Here's my thought on that. First of all, yes, I am reading this blog! :)
Now, to the "meat" of the question you posed. Yes, we do need to "deal" with things as they come up. Like Nichole was posed from Jillian on Tuesday's Biggest Loser episode, I was thinking about that as well. I once heard that it's a good idea to write it all down on a piece of paper, get everything out of your system. And then burn the piece of paper. You could even have a ceremonial burn if you'd like. I could come and we could do a dance or something. It can be very cathartic to burn the old stuff.
But whenever I think about that, it just makes me want to eat something chocolatey and gooey. So maybe for me not such a great idea! :)
Good luck on your journey. You're looking wonderful. It was fun having you over yesterday. Emma woke up and felt jipped you were already gone. We'll have to arrange a play date for you and Emma. :)

wv: conan. as in conan o'brien. ha ha

Klin said...

On a serious note you really do need to address all the "stuff" and go through it with a safe person and in a safe place. It controls you as long as you try to shove it down.

I don't always want to address my stuff either. Sometimes the food is more palatable than the emotions and memories that are stuffed. Although now I am beginning to think that I just like the food too much.

Klin said...

So I just read the other responses. What Heidi said is sometimes what I do with the teens in therapy. It's symbolic and it can help. It also helps to get it out.

Carrot Jello said...

Lt. Col., You always give me a lot to think about.

Yvonne, thanks. Can you adopt me?

Aubrey, I agree, thanks.

Molly, Thank you, I concure.

Melanie, It's harder than it seems like it should be. Thanks for your comment.

Heffalump, Me too, thanks.

Cinderill, I'm pretty sure I can't have a conversation. I'm weak in that area. Thanks for your suggestion though.

Heidi, Maybe I should get a toilet and you could bring a sledge hammer? ;)

Klin, I was waiting for you to weigh in. Ha, I made a joke. I just might do that letter writing thing. I wonder if it would really help.

Tarnation said...

I like the burning one. Make it a huge bonfire. Like h-e-double toothpicks.