Thursday, April 22, 2010

I hope I didn't make you jealous.

I mean, if you really want to walk with her, you can.
I'm not hogging her.
I feel like I need to make it up to you.
I know, I'll tell you a funny Weight Watchers moment.
Because I know that's what you come here for.
Actually, I don't really know that, I just assume...
Unless you're a chubby chaser...
In that case, you better get the heck on out of here because you are creeepy.
I made you feel bad again, didn't I?
So at my first meeting, they hand me this pamphlet.
They hand you one at every meeting.
They have themes.
Like one week was having a "baditude", and how to fight it.
They suggested that we back our baditude up against a wall,
and punch it 'til it died.
Then you'd be happy.

Not really.
Anyhoo, my point is that they have themes every week.
So my first week, I was reading through, and happened upon a column where people were asked what they do to perk themselves up.
I will never, never forget what one lady said.
O.k., I forget her actual words, but she basically said this:
"When I feel depressed, I get on my swimsuit, turn up the heat, and dance (or exercise, or something) in front of the t.v."

I almost snorted.
Because if I got in my swimsuit, pranced around the house, and got a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I'd drop to the floor, curl up in the fetal position and cry until the firemen came to pry my arms from my legs.
Who does this?
I want to know.
Are any of you prancing around the house in your swimsuit?
I want to watch.
Now I'm being creepy.
I got myself back for hurting your feelings.
Who's happy now?
I was just kidding.
I mean, I want to watch, but in a fascinated kind of way.

Er...I should stop now.
This isn't leading anywhere I want to go.
You should leave a comment and change the subject.


Heffalump said...

So...How 'bout those (insert name of sports team here).
There, I changed the subject!
Sounds like that lady really wants to be a perky aerobics instructor!

As Told By Molly said...

At first I thought baditude was a good thing, like "get down with yo bad weight-loosing self" kind of a thing, but now I'm not so sure... One thing for sure, that lady's got guts!

Yvonne said...

I'm not going to change the subject because that is just too funny. I never put on my swimsuit unless I'm going to the beach and then ONLY SOMETIMES.